A friend once told me that all self help literature is unworthy of even making the bottom of a bathroom reading pile. When asked why, he landed on a truth that I had experienced without ever realizing it. "Self help books..." He said... "Are a complete waste of time, because while they create a sense of excitement and anticipation, they leave the reader altogether unchanged."
"Touché"... I remember thinking.
I have kept this thought close to the surface, as I've shared my experience through these purifying convulsive expressions. I can confirm that where I sit today, I am utterly unable to help myself, in spite of many books and much advice.
I have on occasion, been one of those sad souls who gets in the car in frigid winter temperatures and drives off without a thorough windshield cleaning. Setting the wipers on high and squirting washer fluid every few seconds provides just enough visibility for the task... even if temporarily. At such low temperatures, washer fluid freezes practically on contact, setting in motion a cycle of clarity and haziness interrupted by one thing only... Heat. Once the engine is warm and provides the heater with defrosting power, the ice is doomed, no matter the weather conditions outside. It is only then, that the struggle to obtain visibility under my own power finally draws to a close.
I have been writing about my experience through the cold winter of loss and separation. Much of that writing has been about keeping a clear windshield, as it were. The methods described are sound. I believe them to be simple truths necessary for healthy relationships. But healthy relationships are not attainable with consistency, on our own power. I would be sending you out in the cold, in a vehicle without heat, if i didn't make clear one thing; any ideas, or methods of solving conflict or succeeding in moving beyond the squirt, wipe, freeze, repeat, cycle of human relationships, can not be sustained without external influence. Not that every relationship is doomed otherwise. It is clear that some couples remain together outside of the efforts hereby mentioned. But they remain in some form dysfunctional, without this external "heat".
I have been writing about my experience through the cold winter of loss and separation. Much of that writing has been about keeping a clear windshield, as it were. The methods described are sound. I believe them to be simple truths necessary for healthy relationships. But healthy relationships are not attainable with consistency, on our own power. I would be sending you out in the cold, in a vehicle without heat, if i didn't make clear one thing; any ideas, or methods of solving conflict or succeeding in moving beyond the squirt, wipe, freeze, repeat, cycle of human relationships, can not be sustained without external influence. Not that every relationship is doomed otherwise. It is clear that some couples remain together outside of the efforts hereby mentioned. But they remain in some form dysfunctional, without this external "heat".
The concept of a Creator who actively engages with his creation, is foreign to many. Perhaps even unpleasant, or worse. But I shun the idea of producing, with my words, any kind of expectant eagerness for relief with no real long lasting substance. Therefore, I would be dishonest not to share, with the same candour as in the lurid details of previous posts, my account of His presence and active participation in my circumstances, those being but a tiny sample of the plight of all of humanity.
I feel an introduction is necessary. After all, sound relationships aren't the chief goal of our existence. They are a mere side effect of that glorious goal.
If you've ever gone to a playground and observed a father (or a mother) quietly sitting, observing his child from a distance while she plays. A child ignorant to the fact that her parent not only had a part in making her, but also in naming her and choosing her surroundings and circumstances. That he has her dinner planned, as well as the nightly reading. That he plans to put her through painful experiences, like vaccinations, or her first day of school. That he will be able to "read her mind" for the next few years and accurately predict the end result of her hazardous exploits. That he knows she will cry when it's time to go, and that he alone knows the way home... That although, this child will struggle to be obedient and at times even defy her protector, the fact is that where she is safest and best cared for is when she is near him. That the mud pies to which she so easily hangs her joy to, are in fact an obstacle to her happiness, which lies in the gentle arms of her provider. If you can picture that father and the extent of his universe of influence, and then scale that same power, care and concern by the magnitude of the actual universe, you will begin to have a picture of the Father of all.
If that sentimental approach is still as abstract as a frozen windshield, I encourage you to have a closer look at the work of His hands. Can you really attribute it to the result of time and chance, like so many of us, children of the playground, do?
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