Marriage Killers - Religion

There are few words that have the power to repel people the way this word can. Its meaning and connotation have devolved to the point where not even the religious want to be associated with it. It reeks of hypocritical judgement.

Religion, or rather, having differing views on "the meaning of life" or spiritual values is one of the top reasons cited for divorce today. It doesn't take much effort to understand why this is the case. If one person is living in some unseen dimension, while the other is busy playing a real life game of Monopoly, sooner or later there are going to be fireworks, and not the good kind. Curiously, there is a notable statistical correlation which ties divorce rates and religious belief.

Before I say anything else on this polarizing topic, I must address those who have been hurt, rejected and abused in the name of God. If your culture, your gender, your sexual orientation, your past history, your present circumstance, your occupation, your birthplace, your age, your social status, your marital status, or your appearance have been used to make you feel less deserving of God's mercy and love than someone else, it should have never happened. It isn't right, nor is it of God.

There are those who claim to speak for a Creator, but who have personal motives, prejudices and agendas. There are also faithful believers who often stick their foot in their mouth and in meaning to do good, instead do harm. Allow me to own some of that hurtful contempt. I am very sorry.

I believe that religion is mostly a waste of time, often toxic to humanity and an inadequate replacement for truth and love. I also believe in God, I believe in His Word, and I believe in His people. These are not mutually exclusive statements.

If you read this blog and are a non believer, I respect you. I am comfortable with your differing view and I hope you find mine to be no less than honest.

As for our marriage, the matter of faith wasn't as much of an issue, as was the lack of communication about it. While we were both on the same page in theory, we didn't do a good enough job discussing the day to day practical side of how our belief should impact conduct, as well as our own weaknesses and doubts.

Don't make that mistake (with anything, not just your beliefs). If you think it; get it off your chest. Do not allow for resentment to build up. Communication is the only escape valve for bitterness.

Ladies, stand in front of the TV. Break a dish or three. Get his attention.
Men, uh... enact date night. Tonight. With all the fixings. Get her attention.

Talk!!!

One last thing; selfish feelings often betray us by forcing us to hide our true desires, for fear of judgement. Sometimes we are resentful for the wrong reasons, and we know it. And because of guilt, we hold on to those feelings rather than discuss them openly, rationally and in love.

Don't do it! Let it out. Dare to be selfish in the presence of your beloved.

...And beloved - don't judge.